Emma Blackery + Carrie Fletcher
I’d just like the point out the 4:01 show video was aimed at teenagers who are in their early relationships who are only just approaching sexual encounters. It wasn’t aimed at those who have been raped or abused but to those who may be made to feel uncomfortable or pressured in their own relationships. I’m very sorry again that my wording made it sound like I was accusing those who have been abused, weren’t strong enough to say no. That is obviously not what I think because I’d be a stupid, horrible person if I did! If you have been abused, it’s your abusers fault entirely. But this video was aimed at those who are just finding approaching their first sexual encounters tricky because they’re not sure how to go about it. Due to everything that’s gone on recently within the YouTube community, everyone jumped to the conclusion that the video was aimed at the victims or to people who are currently being seriously abused. I feel my responsibility lies with the generation below me who watch my videos every day, to empower them and make sure they know how wonderful they all are and how much they’re worth so they recognise when someone’s treating them less than that.
I’m still getting streams of abuse, calling me a victim blamer and a rape apologist when I’m just someone who worded a sentence badly in a 4 second clip of an entirely well meaning, and hopefully helpful video.
Please can we stop this now and focus our energy and efforts on those who actually need our love and support.
Pleasure was all mine, your post was brilliant so thank you so much for writing it! People are very easily offended these days and in my opinion, people are even starting to look for things to get offend at more often too. And I’m quite done with that.
So thank you again, I hope all of this blows over soon and most importantly, I hope Carrie will feel better soon because she doesn’t deserve any of this crap :(
Okay, so there’s a fuckton of shit surrounding things that Carrie Fletcher have supposedly said ‘victim blaming’, and I think it’s something I need to talk about. First of all, if there were someone that irresponsible, who would be pro-victim blaming, then they would NOT have the audience Carrie has. So before you start spouting shit about how awful she is, think about whether maybe it’s YOU who’s misunderstood. That’s kinda a universal problem with the internet: you will NEVER take responsibility for your own actions.
So Carrie basically said that it’s important to say ‘no’, when you don’t want to do anything with your partner, and people are turning it into this massive ‘OMG SHE’S VICTIM BLAMING’ ‘CARRIE!!1 YOU CANT TELL VICTIMS TO LOOK AFTER THEMSELVES!!!!!1’. And I think you all need to take a trip to the bathroom because you are literally talking bullshit.
Of course, it’s so important that we as a society educate young people so they don’t grow up to be abusers. But we can’t just rely on that. We teach kids not to murder, yet there are still murderers. Rapists are mentally ill people [NOT, might I add, incredibly horny people. Do some research.], and as much as we can discourage it, and educate people about it, there will always be people out there who do it.
So, what, we just leave it at that? No. What Carrie said is very important. It is vital that we teach young people, especially young girls who tend to be more vulnerable to these things, how to defend themselves and look after themselves in a situation. When you get on an aeroplane, you trust the pilot not to crash the plane, but you are told what to do just in CASE the plane does crash. It’s a similar concept: you do everything you can to prevent rapists from existing, but it’s still majorly important that you give potential-victims the knowledge they need to help them should they find themselves in a dangerous situation.
One of the points Carrie keeps bringing up is that ‘you can only be responsible for yourself’ or ‘you can only control your own actions’. This is absolutely true. And many of you are acting like it’s wrong to to everything within your power to keep yourself safe JUST because it’s not your fault you’re in that situation.
Yeah - it’s NOT your fault you’re in the situation. Nothing justifies rape. Nothing. The victim isn’t to blame at all. But what are you suggesting? That the victim just suffer because it’s the abuser who is in the wrong? That the victim shouldn’t have to do anything?
Well crawl out of your bedroom, my friend, and see the world for what it fucking is. It’s not sunshine and daisies. Just because we educate people NOT to rape, does not stop rapists being a thing. Okay? And so the next step we take is encouraging potential-victims to help themselves where they can. And you are all acting like that’s a bad thing. If you end up in a situation with which you’re uncomfortable, you HAVE to know what to do to try and stop it. Just because you taught someone not to rape isn’t going to wipe rape out, and in saying ‘teach the abuser!!’ well, once the rape has happened, it’s a bit late for that, isn’t it?
Responsibility is a two-way street. After having a similar discussion with my dad once, we came up with this analogy: ‘It’s illegal to hit a person with your car, and a driver who does so will go to jail. But that doesn’t mean we walk in the roads and take no responsibility for ourselves. You do everything you can to keep yourself safe, despite the fact that you’re not the one to blame.’
So if you’re not willing to help yourself, then fine, that’s your problem. But don’t fucking attack someone who is trying to encourage it to those who might.
I received quite a lot of messages today concerning the situation with Carrie. I’m not going to say anything about it except for reblogging this post, because I think it’s absolute and complete utter bullshit that people are attacking Carrie over this. I’m SO sick of people keep twisting her words and I’m honestly really done with a lot of people right now.